Together? Forever? To group or not to group.

If you’re like me, you probably started your own business because you don’t always maybe like people so much. I feel your pain. Now, you’ve probably conceded the necessity of networking, and spend a fair amount of time in networking groups. But how good are you about mentoring, or reaching out to peers who could become, you know, like … friends?

According David Brooks of the the New York Times online (which you all know is my favorite source in the world), the rugged individualism so frequently touted by Americans as the “key to success” may be giving way to a historically Asian system of interdependence. You know what? I like my individualism. But I can see the benefits of an interdependent model … or possibly a hybrid model that incorporates the best of both worlds.

OK, I get it — you’re a busy person with a busy life, and you’re tired of the kind of surface-level interactions that networking and social networking produce. I’m going to expose my nerd-roots here (at least, to any reader who hasn’t already uncovered them) and suggest a book-group.

All right, everybody stop laughing (especially you — yeah, you). Here’s what I like about book groups:

They make you better at what you do. You don’t have to join (or start) a group that reads Joyce, Thackeray, or Austen (no offense to these fine authors). You can use your group to springboard your Personal MBA, or developing your leadership capabilities.

They force you to use your diplomacy. It’s just a statement of fact — talking about books in a group can lead to some pretty stupid statements. But, if you want to come back next month, you’d better find a diplomatic way to cover your sense of superiority.

They’re humbling. Of course, sometimes it’s you saying the stupid something. And you know what? That’s OK. In fact, it’s good — the free exchange of ideas only occurs in contexts where people feel psychologically safe enough to say stupid things.

They help foster deep connection. This is all part and parcel of that psychological-safety thing … feeling close to other people, feeling like a member of a group, and feeling supported in a particular way are the additional bonuses of occasionally looking like a chump!

In Which I Give Grave Consideration to Edith Wharton

Am reading The House of Mirth. Is there anything more annoying than rich people feeling sorry for themselves?