(Non-gender specific) Monarch of all you survey

Disclaimer: Using surveys will not make you Elvis, Elvis Herselvis, or a roller derby star. All it will do is make your marketing easier and more effective. Yeesh — isn’t that enough for you people?

Haven’t you ever wished that you could get real, honest feedback from your clients about an aspect of your business? You can, and it’s much easier than you might think. Follow these four steps to create a survey that will help you get a handle on your clients’ needs:

1.) Make it up. What is it that you really want to know about your clients? Their spending habits? Why they chose you over a competitor? Why they took (or failed to take) a particular action on your website? If they like their ophthalmologists? Spend some time thinking about the most relevant information you can (appropriately) solicit from your clients (unfortunately, they probably won’t pony-up their SSNs), and get it all down in outline format. Don’t forget the most important, be-all-end-all, Net Promoter question….

2.) Make it clever. Don’t think of your survey as some godawful thing that you’re inflicting on your client base — think of it as an extension of your brand-identity. It should be consistent with your other marketing materials — equally clever, and with same look, feel, and voice.

3.) Make it worthwhile. You want a high response rate on your survey. Your clients want to be compensated for their time. If your survey is exceptionally interesting and quirky, you will get a high return rate. If it’s only somewhat interesting and quirky, incentivize its return with a coupon, special-offer code, or exclusive access to videos of Ukrainian pop-star drag-queens.

4.) Make it count. Getting a good response rate is only half the battle. The other half involves collating the data you’ve gathered … and using it to make effective, client-driven change in your business practices.